From all my years that I’ve lived on this earth I’ve learned a lot about life and how I personally think I should live my life.
I have come to realize that the 11 rules below pertain to my views on life but can definitely help someone else out. So I decided to write them down and explain why I have chosen the rules that I have.
So you might be asking yourself, this kid’s only 21 how can he know about life. And I agree, I’m still young. I still have a lot of living to do but up to this point in my life it hasn’t always been so easy.
I want to share with you a personal story that I went through when I was 10 that changed my life completely (for the better).
June 21, 2003. It was 4 in the morning when I started feeling severe eye pain. This pain wasn’t like anything else I’ve ever felt.
It wasn’t a headache, it wasn’t a migraine.
Luckily at the time my family lived in a small apartment and I shared a room with my grams (grandma).
So she heard my agonizing moans and woke up to see if I was ok. She says that when she tried to wake me up I wasn’t fully there. I couldn’t respond and all I kept doing was saying my eyes hurt.
She woke up my mom and dad who were in the other room. They came in but had no idea what was going on.
My mom did what any mom would do in that situation and called 911.
The ambulance came and the EMTs tried to see what the situation was, but again they had no idea. I wasn’t fully responding
And I wasn’t coherent at all.
They took me to the Freehold Hospital where I was put into a CAT Scan to further examine what was going on.
The next thing must have been a nightmare for my family.
The doctors came out and told my parents that I had suffered a stroke from a ruptured brain AVM (arteriovenous malformation). My parents had no idea what that was but the doctor explained that it was a section in my brain where the arteries and veins were interlaced and it has ruptured releasing a lot of blood in my right lobe.
Personally I have no recognition of this night and I’m so grateful cause it probably sucked.
After that night I was transferred to Robert Wood Johnson where I was put into a coma for 2 weeks to let the swelling and pool of blood decrease in my brain. The doctors told my parents to prepare for the worse. They said that I could wake up and not know who they were or wake up and have the mind of a child (I would have to start from square one; learn to speak, learn my ABC’s, learn to walk etc)
During the 2 week period where I was sleeping beauty my parents say I was visited by a lot of people; Friends, family, teachers, coaches.
It seems that anyone who was anyone in my life was there to support me, and to them all I can say is thank you from the bottom of my heart.
So 2 weeks have passed and I was ready to come out of my long slumber. When I awoke I was pretty much back to my old self. Back then I was a little chubby kid that loved food and the first thing I asked for when I awoke was pizza.
At that moment my family knew that I didn’t suffer any major issues from the stroke like the doctor thought I would.
The only thing that happened was that I was paralyzed on the left side of my body. I couldn’t move my arm, leg, fingers, nothing at all.
This to me was the worst. It seemed like no matter how hard I concentrated on moving my fingers they just wouldn’t move. It was annoying and very frustrating
I was in the hospital for 3 months and during that time I went through physical therapy to try to get my left side back in motion (I know now that the reason for my paralysis was because of the pool of blood in my brain, it wouldn’t let my brain send signals to the left part of my body)
Eventually I was sent to NYU to get brain surgery to remove the AVM, luckily during the surgery the doctors found an aneurysm which they had no idea about (this makes me one lucky mofo. If they never found the aneurysm it would have been a ticking time bomb.)
So the reason I told you this story is because there are a couple of rules I have that were created from that experience; like I said, I learned a lot during that time in my life.
I have a lot more experiences that I have gone through but the one above was the most impactful that helped shape me into what I am today and this list.
Now obviously not everything in the list was created from the experience above but I feel like I needed to explain that if you’re going to understand why some things are on my list and not just think that I picked them for the hell of it.
Now on to the list
1. Appreciate everyone
Even if they’re not your best friend or close friend or even better, even if they’re your enemy. Always appreciate people that are in your life. They’re there for a reason whether it’s to break you down or build you up every interaction you have with someone will have a big or small impact on your life. Appreciate that because it shapes you to the person you’ll be now or years from now
2. Don’t let your enemies turn you into something you’re not
This goes hand and hand with rule numero uno, the way you react to a situation will also shape you into the person you’ll be now or years from now so don’t over react over little things and don’t under react over big things, and if you do decide not to under react over big things do it in a manner where your enemy will have no choice but to have some sort of respect for you. So basically handle shit maturely.
3. Your phone isn’t part of your chemistry, you don’t NEED it to survive
This one’s for everyone out there, including me. I’m still trying to use my phone less and less. If you know you’re not gonna need it, leave it at home. If you’re with friends, shut it off. Doing so will show you how much you’re actually missing when your mind is engulfed in your phone but if you need your phone for work or emergencies turn up the volume and don’t look at it until it rings. Easier said than done but just try.
4. Don’t allow the terms “Please” and “Thank You” to leave your vocabulary
Easy rule? Yes, practiced rule? No. As I’ve been getting older I’ve been hearing less and less people use “please” and “thank you”. Two simple words that can change someone’s day or make it better, and plus people are more likely to help you just by adding a “please” and “thank you”
5. Follow your heart
This is a lot harder than it sounds. A lot of people NEVER follow their hearts. They’re always so caught up in their head thinking about not displeasing others or they’re too scared cause they think they can’t do it. Remember the mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master. Never let your head get in the way of what your heart wants. Following your heart will lead to true happiness.
6. Always make eye contact during conversation
Now don’t get all weird on them and try to stare into their soul. But making eye contact leaves a good impression on people, and we all know the first impression is everything.
7. Get comfortable being uncomfortable
If you want to grow physically and mentally you better do something that takes you out of your comfort zone more often. When you do something that you’re not comfortable with your defeating a fear, which will make you feel better about yourself and give you the courage to defeat other fears.
8. Read more
I’ll admit growing up I hated reading with a passion. Honestly during grammar school and high school I only read 1 book that was required for school. Looking back now, I wish I read every single one. Reading will make your smarter, more creative, a better speaker, and a better writer.
9. Always smile
It takes more muscles in your face to frown than smile. Smiles make people smile. Smiles make you happier. If you think about it you can’t really think of a negative result from smiling. So just on that alone you should always smile. And if your sad and can’t smile do things to make yourself happy. And words of advice never ever have a fake smile on your face, everyone can tell its fake.
10. Do something nice for someone new every day
Not enough people in this world do enough kind things for others. If you do, don’t mind this rule. Keep doin what you do. But if you don’t, stop being selfish and help others. It makes you a better person and karma will repay you. (Quick note: don’t do something nice expecting something in return. Karma will repay you in time; it might not be that day or the following week, but when karma feels you’re ready for what you need she will repay you)
11. Become a doer
There are 2 kinds of people in this world. Ones that are thinkers and ones that are doers. Doers are the ones that get shit done. They go places and always reach their goals. If you want to be successful, become a doer. If you want to be happy, become a doer.
So there you go
11 rules that I try to live by as much as I can. If you liked the rules by all means add them to your list.
I feel like everyone should have their own list of rules that they want to live by and follow. These rules should never be set in stone.
As you grow, live, and go through your experiences
The rules are going to change and that’s fine. But always stay true and try your best to live by them.
If you have a list of rules you live by or other rules you’d like to add to the ones above drop them in the comment area. I’d love to hear them.
Talk to you later,